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Civ's Poetry Corner
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Civilian#001

85 post s
17-Aug-2006
11:57 PM
Greetings fellow thinkers. Just to break away from the norm of these threads I want to start sharing some of my poetry, and I say that very losely, since I am not a writer and I know less of poetry. So this is something new to me. Anyhow, I like to write in my native tongue which is Español, just in case you hadn't noticed. I'll try my best to translate in Ingles, so as to not loose much of the meaning. Hope you all enjoy... oh, and any feedback is always welcomed, so don't be shy... and please be brutally honest.

Thanks.

This first one is called "Popotlå"
A bit of info on Popotlå... Popotlå is passing Rosarito beach. It is a cove that one must descend cliffs in order to get to the beach. This place is where friends and I went to bodyboard when I was living in Mexico. There is a perfect wave that breaks to the right, atleast to myself it seems perfect.


Popotlå

Alguna vez haz sentido el mar de noche?
las olas se estrellan en la playa,
la espuma salada es la extraña evidencia
que dejan de su escencia,
la brisa es una vela humeda y fresca
que abraza tu cuerpo.

Alguna vez haz contemplado el mar de noche?
La luna y las estrellas forran el cielo
como una covija adornada con diamantes,
el mar no ronca de noche,
nomas se refresca,
despierto,
listo para otro dia naciente,
en el dia,
el mar ruge.

----------------------------------------

Popotlå

Have you ever felt the sea at night?
The waves crash on the beach,
the seafoam is the strange evidence
they leave of their esence,
the breeze is a fresh humid veil
that hugs your body.

Have you ever contemplated the sea at night?
The moon and stars cover the sky
like a blanket adorned with diamonds,
the sea does not snore at night,
it only renews itself,
awake,
ready for a nascent day,
in the daytime,
the sea roars.

Last Edited Civilian#001 on 18-Aug-2006 9:13 AM

me.

1115 post s
18-Aug-2006
8:18 AM
That's nice. Very evocative and human.

There's a spanish poem that really makes me see the words, like this one you've just posted. It's reminded me of it- I'll just see if I can find it online.

Civilian#001

86 post s
18-Aug-2006
9:12 AM
Thanks ME, Looking forward to that poem. And thanks for the comment. I have some more that I'll post in the comming days. Some have to do with the ocean, which to me, is a great escape from the concrete jungle.

Hasta luego.

JB

1518 post s
18-Aug-2006
6:30 PM
Yes, evocative is the word! And lovely. Do you have any about the desert? For me that is (was) my most transcendent escape.
Civilian#001

87 post s
19-Aug-2006
10:08 AM
Hi JB,
Thank you for the comment, funny you should mention the desert also. I kid you not, it must have been wednesday that I was thinking about such a place. One of my uncles has a house way past out Tecate in Baja. One arrives to a small town called El Hongo (The Mushroom), don't ask me why, maybe it has to do something with the water. Anyhow, when you arrive to this town there is a road that goes about 3.5 to 4 miles inland. One almost thinks he or she is getting lost, before you know it... one arrives to a ranch called Sta. Veronica. There are actually several homes there, one belonging to my uncle. There is this tradition that on every Semana Santa/Spring Break, the family gets together down there. Last time I went the Hale-Bopp comet was near Earth's orbit. At night you went outside and with no clouds and no city lights you could see this comet in all it's glory. It was really something else, one just had to see it.

Well to get back at what I was saying, the desert in Baja is very wonderful. I was thinking of writing something about it. Before all of its images leave my head. I'll post it up when I think it is done.

Saludos a todos.

JB

1519 post s
19-Aug-2006
11:58 PM
Yes, the Baja deserts are stunning. I agree, write your poem now, while it is fresh. Here's a desert poem I wrote in the Mojave shortly before we left California for New York. I filched it from the Writing Section of the website:


The Riverbed

When our car broke down in the riverbed
of the Mojave desert
And our cell phone didn’t work and there was
No one around for miles, miles, miles
I thought: huh, we could croak today, right here
And I thought: I always wanted to perish in
The desert: I love its smells and its eternity
Not a bad place to end it really
But I felt guilty that my son and husband
Would have to die there too
And I thought my desert death fantasy really
Wasn’t theirs, so it was an unfair twist of fate
And I wished I was stranded alone and could do my
Imagined ceremonies, the ones where I finally knew
I was part of something larger -- that dwarfed everything
When we were rescued, I was glad that my son and husband
Wouldn’t expire in such an untimely and thirsty way
But, as they towed our car, I felt some regret
For I knew that this was one missed destiny
And all else would be smaller than imagined

me.

1116 post s
21-Aug-2006
4:58 AM
Here's my submission: it's noche de verano (summer's night) by antonio machado.

Es una hermosa noche de verano.
Tienen las altas casas
abiertos los balcones
del viejo pueblo a la anchurosa plaza.
En el amplio rectángulo desierto,
bancos de piedra, evónimos y acacias
simétricos dibujan
sus negras sombras en la arena blanca.
En el cénit, la luna, y en la torre,
la esfera del reloj iluminada.
Yo en este viejo pueblo paseando
solo, como un fantasma.

It's one of the few poems that puts me in my imagination in the scene, because, when you're out late, walking though the deserted town and all the shadows and calm surround you, this is the feeling it evokes - peacefulness and solitude.

I'll do my best to translate; naturally it loses a lot:

It's a beautiful summer's night
The tall houses have
Their balconies opened
In the old town with the wide square.
In the wide abandoned square
stone benches, evonimus(es) and symmetrical acacia trees
throw their dark shadows onto the white sand.
At it's peak, the moon; and on the clocktower,
the face all lit up.
Me walking through this old town,
alone, I'm like a ghost.

See its not as good in english. Nevermind, shoot the translator!

Civilian#001

88 post s
21-Aug-2006
9:16 PM
Hi JB,
I thought I was the only one who imagined his death once in a great moon. I feel a bit more normal now. Seriously though, that was great. I wanted to see what your vision of your procession would be like, this actually gave me an idea. I'll share with as soon as I can... also, I started on my desert poem today. I haven't written in a while so I noticed that I was a bit rusty. i'll get there, I hope. Anyhow, thank you for sharing. Say Hi to D and T for me, even if they've forgotten who I am.

Hey ME,
That was a great piece... It took me to those days where I had to walk from my cousins house to my house in Mex. while a bit inebriated. This would be in the middle of the night, the moon beaming on me as a spotlight, no cars around... just as if one where a ghost. Come to think of it, being drunk probably comes close to it.

Hasta Luego.

Civilian#001

89 post s
21-Aug-2006
9:41 PM
Here is another. Any thoughts are welcomed.

Huellas

El mar lava nuestras huellas de la playa,
pero no puede esfumar nuestras memorias.

La brisa nos besa tiernamente,
pero aun no nos abraza.

Las olas agitan nuestros cuerpos,
pero no nos lastiman.

El mar siempre es identico
mientras nosotros envejecemos y morimos.

Y lo unico que dejamos,
son huellas en la playa.

_______________________________

Huellas (Footprints) this can also mean fingerprints.

The ocean washes our footprints from the beach,
but it cannot blur our memories.

The breeze kisses us tenderly,
but it does not embrace us.

The waves agitate our bodies,
but they do not hurt us.

The ocean is always identical
while we grow old and die.

And all we leave are
footprints on the beach.

Civilian#001

90 post s
21-Aug-2006
10:14 PM
Last one for today, before I get banned from the forum. This one was for my special someone in Mexico.

No title on this one.

Hoy tome una caminata junto al mar.
La arena fresca corria entre
los dedos de mis pies.
El sol calentaba suavemente mi faz.
Y pense, aqui en esta playa,
donde se deslizan gaviotas
en esta brisa salada.
Aqui en esta misma playa,
donde delfines se entretienen
en las olas.
Aqui en esta misma playa
te tuve abrazada.

_____________________________________

I took a long walk on the beach today.
The fresh sand ran between my toes.
The sun heated my face softly,
And I though, on this beach,
where seagulls slide
on this salty breeze.
On this very same beach,
where dolphins entertain themselves
in the waves.
On this very same beach,
I held you once.

And that is all for writing with the ocean/beach/sea in them. I wish not to bore you.

me.

1117 post s
22-Aug-2006
5:15 AM
They were both good poems, I liked them. If it puts a picture in my mind, then it's worth reading in my book. It's a way of sharing emotions, just like a conversation is a way of sharing facts.

I think you would like the Dao de jing, because that's quite poetic, and yet it's a philosophy. I mention this because the first poem contains the thought that everything is changing, which is the cornerstone of daoism, buddhism and dialectical materialism.

Here's a similar passage, similar sentiment (translator Legge):

".....Heaven is long-enduring and earth continues long. The reason
why heaven and earth are able to endure and continue thus long is
because they do not live of, or for, themselves. This is how they are
able to continue and endure.

Therefore the sage puts his own person last, and yet it is found in
the foremost place; he treats his person as if it were foreign to him,
and yet that person is preserved. Is it not because he has no
personal and private ends, that therefore such ends are realised?


8
The highest excellence is like (that of) water. The excellence
of water appears in its benefiting all things, and in its occupying,
without striving (to the contrary), the low place which all men
dislike. Hence (its way) is near to (that of) the Tao.

The excellence of a residence is in (the suitability of) the place;
that of the mind is in abysmal stillness; that of associations is in
their being with the virtuous; that of government is in its securing
good order; that of (the conduct of) affairs is in its ability; and
that of (the initiation of) any movement is in its timeliness.

And when (one with the highest excellence) does not wrangle (about
his low position), no one finds fault with him.


9
It is better to leave a vessel unfilled, than to attempt to
carry it when it is full. If you keep feeling a point that has been
sharpened, the point cannot long preserve its sharpness.

When gold and jade fill the hall, their possessor cannot keep them
safe. When wealth and honours lead to arrogancy, this brings its evil
on itself. When the work is done, and one's name is becoming
distinguished, to withdraw into obscurity is the way of Heaven....."

Have a read, it exercises the mind at least.

JB

1520 post s
22-Aug-2006
9:37 AM
Civ, you should combine your skills and design a chapbook of your poetry, even a very small one, with Spanish on one page and English on the next. I think that would be gorgeous!
Civilian#001

91 post s
22-Aug-2006
5:02 PM
Thanks Me for sharing that with me, I would have probably never heard of dao de jing. They write that all translations are written differently so one must read more than one copy in oder to have abetter understanding of it. In the mean time I was reading some of the passages and this one really stuck to me...

"Knowing oneself"
The pursuit of the knowledge of the self appears in many variations throughout the Tao Te Ching. One example in chapter 33:

Knowing others is wisdom;
Knowing the self is enlightenment.
Mastering others requires force;
Mastering the self requires strength;
He who knows he has enough is rich.
Perseverance is a sign of will power.
He who stays where he is endures.
To die but not to perish is to be eternally present.
Chapter 33 tr. Gia-Fu Feng and Jane English

Julie,
I think the idea that you mentioned is great. As soon as I read that, I began to think of ways to execute such a book, and if and how I will illustrate it. I'll keep you posted.

me.

1119 post s
24-Aug-2006
4:45 AM
That is a really good idea. Such a book, I think would be one of those that would benefit from a talented illustrator. Perhaps you and miguel could bring castellano thought to the US as a team effort.

Illustrator "someone who lights things up".

JB

1530 post s
6-Oct-2006
6:30 PM
More poetry!
nokangaroos

134 post s
31-Oct-2006
11:30 AM
For what it´s worth, this is my favourite:

Wenn einst dies geschlecht sich gereinigt von schande
Vom nacken geschleudert die fessel des fröners
Nur spürt im geweide den hunger nach ehre:
Dann wird auf der walstatt voll endloser gräber
Aufzucken der blutschein.. dann jagen auf wolken
Lautdröhnende heere dann braust durchs gefilde
Der schrecklichste schrecken der dritte der stürme:
Der toten zurückkunft!
Wenn je dieses volk sich aus feigem erschlaffen
Sein selber erinnert der kür und der sende:
Wird sich ihm eröffnen die göttliche deutung
Unsagbaren grauens.. dann heben sich hände
Und münder ertönen zum preise der würde
Dann flattert im frühwind mit wahrhaftem zeichen
Die königsstandarte und grüsst sich verneigend
Die Hehren - die Helden!

(Stefan George, 1928)


I´m afraid this is untranslatable. Never mind, you wouldn´t like it anyway. It´s an invocation of the Dead of WWI from the time when "the iron dice of strategy" (A. Wildgans) gained consciousness. Very cold and hard - and formalistic.

But JB´s new piece reminded me of it :).

JB

1584 post s
26-Mar-2007
9:47 PM
More, more, more!

Sadly, I must hold back since I just sent some recent stuff out, and printing it here is the equivalent of publication in the journal world. However, much of the other stuff I can stand to show is already on the site in the Writing section.

When the rejection letters start coming, I'll put them here!

Anything, Civ?

JB

1585 post s
26-Mar-2007
9:54 PM
I will share a Talib Kweli lyric I am quite smitten with, several years old now. It's from the song "I Try" on his _Beautiful Struggle_ album. It must be the teacher in me that loves this:


Life is a beautiful struggle
People search through the rubble
For a suitable hustle
Some people using their noodle
Some people using their muscle
Some people put it all together
Make it fit like a puzzle'

Jorge

81 post s
28-Mar-2007
8:02 PM
I don't write poems very often, but I found it oddly auspicious that this thread is the THIRD (count them, 3!) mention of poetry I come across today. That inspired me to sit down and write the following snippet:

--
Collect Call

Tonight, the universe is telling me something.
Hiss, crackle, pop, will I take the call?
The direct line opens, comes in crystal clear:
sit back a minute and pay attention.

Hear it?

It is the voice of creation, urging me to make;
the howl of compassion, begging me to give;
the whisper of a withering loneliness, telling me, barely,
that it is okay for me to love.

"As if I ever needed your permission!" I say.

But the voice won't ever hear me.
Its lesson dispensed, it dims to a whimper,
leaving behind the hum of the cosmic dial tone.

Life's static creeps back and keeps me waiting,
fearing that the next chance at a direct connection
won't come soon enough.

But of course, it does.
--

Last Edited on 28-Mar-2007 8:04 PM

JB

1586 post s
28-Mar-2007
10:24 PM
Jorge!

(delight!)

 

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